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First Round Is on Mitt: The Pundit On Point Presidential Debate Drinking Game

October 3, 2012 Leave a comment

Tonight is the first presidential debate! Ah… It seems like so long ago I was live-tweeting the GOP Presidential Nominee Debates. But it has only a few been months since the last time I had the opportunity to see Mitt Romney engage in something he dislikes as much as eating cookies from a local Pennsylvania bakery.

Tonight’s debate has been billed as a “make or break” endeavor for the gaffe-filled candidacy of Mitt Romney. But the night is also perilous for President Obama. With 34 days left until Election Day and early voting already beginning in some key states, like Ohio and Iowa, the president cannot afford to make any major missteps either.

The result is we have a presidential debate that is the equivalent of the hype associated with the great Ali fights… “The Rumble in the Jungle,” or the “The Thrilla in Manilla.” For you younger boxing fans, this is like what the hype would be if Floyd “Money” Mayweather actually got over himself and fought Manny Pacquiao.  Yes, it is THAT big!

But since this presidential election cycle has been full of so much mendacity, silliness and misdirection…it’s enough to drive a person to drink! It is with that in mind that I am introducing the first Pundit On Point Presidential Debate Drinking Game. A reminder: all players of the game must be over the age of 21, and a designated driver is recommended, because I think the candidates are going to hit the clichés hard tonight.

The rules are simple. Every time one of the candidates says one of the designated words or phrases, everyone must drink. I don’t recommend shots, or you won’t make it to the first commercial break. If you don’t drink alcohol, grab the beverage of your choice. But I don’t recommend caffeinated beverages or this debate will keep you up all night and not just because of the policies you heard.

Here are the terms to listen for in tonight’s debate:

  • Reagan
  • Clinton
  • Solyndra
  • Keystone
  • Taxes and/or tax returns
  • Economy
  • Job creators
  • Bush
  • Regulations
  • Apology or apologizing
  • Class Warfare
  • “Unite us”
  • Voucher(s)
  • Obamacare
  • “Repeal and replace”
  • Job killing
  • Obstruction
  • Veterans
  • Libya
  • Afghanistan
  • Bain
  • Anniversary
  • “Family man” and/or “Family”
  • Food Stamps
  • Welfare

There is a bonus where everyone takes TWO drinks if…1) there is a “hot mike” moment when the candidate forgets about the microphone, or 2) there is a sincerely memorable line that will outlive the debate that is clear during the debate. Like obscenity, we’ll recognize when we see it.

It should be interesting, though I doubt it will be informative. Before the debate starts, make sure everyone you are watching with has registered to vote. It is the only reason tonight matters.

I will be live-tweeting the debate, so follow me @PunditOnPoint to see what I have to say in real time.

To show how much I celebrate wealth and success, based on the evidence in the TWO tax returns he gave American voters, the first round is on Mitt! Cheers!